I pay attention to whether care feels mutual
Love does not need a spreadsheet, but I do notice whether both people are participating.
I do not expect every day to be fifty-fifty. Sometimes one person has more energy, time or emotional space than the other.
What matters to me is the overall feeling that both people want to contribute.
That can mean planning something, checking in, remembering a detail, apologizing properly or doing a small thing simply because it makes the other person happy.
Mutual effort makes affection feel secure instead of uncertain.
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